ABC Guide to Leah and Vladmir
by Stephycats7785
Summary: ABC guide to the relationship between Leah and Vladmir.
1. Chapter 1

Title: ABC Guide to Vladmir and Leah  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Leah and Vladmir  
Summary: The ABC guide to the relationship between Leah Clearwater and the Romanian vampire Vladmir.  
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!  
AN: This is another Christmas one-shot requested by Pumpkinpatch212 (I hope I got the name right the person did not sign in.) who wanted to see an ABC guide to our favorite Romanian and our favorite she-wolf so I really hope they are not disappointed by this. Remember my one-shot gifts may be broken up in to two chapters it really depends on how much I feel I can write at the time.

A- Abased. Since the moment Vladmir had met the she-wolf known as Leah Clearwater, he had been enchanted. Never in all his existence had he ever met someone like her. One of the traits which made him fall for her was the fact that no matter what she did or what people thought of her, the female shape shifter never felt abased for any of it. Leah was who she was plain and simple and she was proud of that fact. The Romanian vampire often thought that if more people took pride in who they were like Leah did, the world would be a better place.

B- Baffled. "Geeze Vlad, don't look so baffled; I mean it is just a cellphone." Leah was trying to hold back laughter as she gazed at her boyfriend who was looking at the cellphone she had gotten him as if it were an alien or something. "I thought it may come in handy if you are trying to get in touch with me instead of sneaking in to the La Push and risk becoming a Romanian hamburger. You must have used a cellphone or rotary phone in the past right? Right?"

He shrugged and hid his embarrassment the best he could. "I prefer face to face conversation or letters. I do not believe two people can communicate completely through a bunch of wires and besides, sneaking in to the La Push brings me great joy since I get to see your pack brothers fail at capturing me. You would think they would have given up after so many failed attempts, but if they are anything like you, I know that is never going to happen which makes my victory even more pleasurable. Thank you thought for the phone, I know you must have put a lot of thought in to it and Stefan tells me the key to a lasting relationship is being grateful for whatever your partner does for you."

C- Cacophonous. Vladmir and Leah were visiting the Cullen family since Vladmir was good friends with Carlisle, when they heard a horrible screeching coming from up stairs. It took the pair a moment to realize the sound was actually Bella Cullen and she was screaming at her husband Edward about not getting her the exact bracelet she wanted for their anniversary. Leah wondered if people in Seattle could hear the sound since it was that loud.

"Well she is rather cacophonous isn't she?" The Romanian said as he covered his ears in a vain attempt to block out at least some of the sound.

The female shape shifter covered her ears as well though it did no good. "I have no idea what that means, but if it is something along the lines of she is a loud, whiny, no good witch then I agree with you 101 percent. If I am ever cacophonous then feel free to knock me out if I don't do it myself first."

D- Dapper. On the day the blond Romanian vampire was supposed to meet the mother of his fiancee, he had decided that he wanted to look extra nice and considering his wardrobe consisted of mostly leather, he knew he had to go shopping and so he enlisted the help of one Alice Cullen. He had never known there were so many different brands of clothing. All he had wanted was a nice suit or something and he figured maybe it would take half an hour tops, but they had been at the Seattle mall for three hours now and he was starting to get peeved every time Alice had him try on yet another suite because she found something wrong with the others.

Around the fourth hour he was ready to give up and just wear his usual clothing. The only reason he was even looking at suites was for Leah. He did not want her mother to find something she didn't like about him and turn it around so it was her daughters fault. For some reason he tried on one last suite for Alice. It was a dark blue with white trim and it actually made his complexion seem normal of that as a human though it did bring out his eyes, but in reality it was kind of hard to hide red eyes.

"Oh my goodness!" The tiny Cullen female shouted as she started jumping up and down. "You look absolutely dapper! Oh Leah is going to be so thrilled when she sees you!"

E- Edify. Everyone who knew Leah knew she hated vampires and for the most part they agreed with her. Sometimes she could take her hatred a little far, but there really wasn't anything they could do about so they just let it be. When the two Romanian blood drinkers met the only female shifter ever known to exist, the younger of the two, Vladmir decided to edify her view on vampires.

F- Facetious. When Leah decided to take her boyfriend snowboarding, he thought nothing of it. He was a vampire and snowboarding couldn't be that hard right? Wrong. On the first try he ended up flying off the board and landing face first in the snow at his girlfriends feet. When he looked up at her the expression on her face was facetious and she looked about ready to fall over she was laughing so hard. Scowling, he quickly made a snowball and chucked it at her. When it smacked her in the face he grinned. That's what she got for making fun of his failure.

G- Gallant. Most girls dream of a gallant prince swooping in to save the day and bring them to their happily ever after, but not Leah Clearwater. She had never believed in fairytales and never felt the need to have someone come and rescue her. She had always believed in saving herself, especially after Sam Uley had broken her heart. No, Leah didn't dream of finding her prince, but that didn't mean she was not thrilled when she found her soulmate in a blond vampire from Romania. Besides, he was better than some silly prince any day.

H- Haggle. "No." Leah had her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at her husband. "No freaking way Vladmir, take it back wherever you found it because I do not want it in this house."

He looked down at the snake wrapped around his arm. "Love, you said you wanted a pet and you didn't specify what type. Noah is really sweet once you get to know him. He is a boa constrictor so you need not worry about being bitten if that is your fear."

"I am not scared of snakes I just don't like them and I won't have one in our house plain and simple."

"Alright, let's haggle, that is the word you humans use correct?" Sighing set the snake known as Noah back in it's cage. "If you let me keep Noah, I will consent to you having any pet you want and I won't fight you on it. How does that sound?"

She thought about it for a second before nodding in agreement. "I can work with that. The slithering parasite can stay if I get to have a fennec fox and you cannot take it out if my fox is in the same room because if your snake eats it then I will be forced to cut it open to get my fox back understood? Also, I am not cleaning up after that thing."

I- Ignominious. It was rare to catch Leah Clearwater crying, but the on time Vladmir did, he wanted to hunt down and kill Sue Clearwater. It had taken him a while to get Leah to tell him what was wrong, but he was persistent because she was pregnant and stress was not good for her or the baby in her womb. If something happened to either of them due to stress, the blond vampire would destroy whoever was the catalyst.

"Mom said our baby was ignominious." She sniffled while burying her face in his hard as stone chest. "I know I shouldn't let her get to me because she has always been this way and I am used to that, but our unborn baby should not have to deal with this."

"I will make sure our child never has to worry about that." Vladmir promised her as he headed for the door. "Your mother the ignominious one and I am going to see to it that she knows it. You stay here love and I will be back soon, I promise."

J- Jaded. Some people saw the world as black and white, but the female Quilette shifter saw the word with jaded eyes as did her undead lover. So many things in her life had gone downhill that it was impossible to see things so simply anymore. At first she resented those around her who remained untainted by the world they lived it, though over time she grew to accept it and her jaded view of the world ended up bringing Vladmir in to her life so she couldn't really complain anymore because while her life had been altered in a way nobody could fix, all the pain brought her happiness she could never fully convey and it tipped the scale in her opinion.

K- Kinship. Loneliness. Leah felt alone due to the fact she had no friends because she of what she was and with Seth in college and her father dead, she felt as if she had family even though her mother was still alive. Her pack brothers did not ease the loneliness which had slowly started to consume her and in fact only ended up making it even worse. Leah felt terribly alone and she feared she would always feel this way.

Vladmir also felt alone even though he had Stefan, who was like his brother, around to keep him company. Everyone he had cared about had been destroyed by the Volturi and other vampires tended to stay as far away from him as they could because his reputation was not very inviting and nobody wanted to end up on the bad side of the Volturi. It was this very loneliness that brought Leah Clearwater and Vladmir the Romanian vampire together. Their kinship is what started their destiny together.

L- Lament. Sometimes the female shape shifter felt sorry for her husband because he couldn't cry. Crying was a good way to show grief for what you had lost and Vladmir did not have the ability to do so and because of that Leah cried for him because she loved him so much she felt his inner pain. Her tears were a lament to his pain and while he hated seeing her cry, the Romanian was actually grateful to her for helping find a release for the pain which had been trapped inside for over a century.

M- Macabre. For their fifth anniversary, Leah and Vladmir decided to hold a party which had a Macabre theme. He was a vampire and she loved anything horror filmed related so it fit. Alice Cullen had helped with all the decorations and such. There were fake organs hanging from whatever could be reached, fake blood dripped from the walls and ceiling, lights flickered on and off in time with spooky music, and each person in attendance was dressed to the horror theme one way or another. At the stroke of midnight, the couple appeared at the top of the stairs and renewed their vows while acting out a scene from one of their favorite horror movies 'Nightmare on Elm Street' with Vladmir decked out in full Freddy gear and Leah dressed as Nancy. They shared a kiss to Freddy's theme and after everyone else had left, they headed up stairs to have a private role play session as a gift to the other for five happy years and hopefully many more to come.

TBC...

**Please R&R like always!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or anything from Twilight!

N- Narcissist. If one was to ask any of the wolf pack members to use one word to describe Leah, most of them would would call her a narcissist, but Vladmir would disagree with them since they did not know her in the same way he did. To be a narcissist would mean she was selfish and thought herself to be above all those around her, but that was so far from the truth it wasn't even funny. Leah cared about everyone around her more than they would ever know since she tended to hide her true feelings. The she-wolf may like to act all tough, but deep down she had a huge heart and those who were allowed to see it were put in to a state of awe. Yes, Vladmir was one of the few people who knew without a doubt Leah Clearwater was the farthest thing from a narcissist.

O- Oasis. For their first christmas as a newly married couple, Vladmir had taken his shifter bride to a remote area in Alaska. It was a winter Oasis, well at least that is what he called it. No human or any other creature knew of its existence accept him. There was a small cabin surrounded by giant ice crystals that reminded Leah of the 'fortress of solitude' in Superman and the light from the sun caused it to glow with a rainbow of colors moving and bouncing around as it did off of her husband as well if he stood in direct sunlight. It was one of the most beautiful places if not the most beautiful place in the world. Spending two weeks there became a routine the couple would continue for the rest of time and one day their children and the spouses of their children would follow in that tradition.

P- Palliative. Leah realized that she would never be able to take away all the pain her boyfriend had in his un-beating heart for the loss of his vampire friends and family due to the Volturi all those years ago, but she hoped that at the very least she may be able to make it palliative like he did for her with her feelings of loss over her father. She loved the blond Romanian that much and if she could, she would willing take all his pain away even if it meant she had to take on the full weight of it, but since that was not a possibility, the she-wolf would have to settle for easing some of his pain and hopefully one of these days it wouldn't be as painful as it was now.

Q- Quaff. Vladmir had seen and done a lot of things as a vampire and it was rare he found himself ever being disgusted by anything, but watching his fiancee be so quaff with her food, it caused his stomach to roll and for the first time he could remember, he had the urge to vomit. "Do you even know how to chew your food?"

R- Rambunctious. Being a shapeshifter meant that Leah was always in top physical shape, but as she chased little Rome down for the second time in and hour, she felt absolutely exhausted. Once she finally caught her blonde little boy who was the spitting image of his father, she handed the hyper boy over to said husband. "Why is our little boy so rambunctious? I swear he must get it from you because when I was two I was a little angel."

Her vampire husband smirked and shook his head. "Oh yes, I am sure you were just a little angel, no trouble at all. Hey, is that a pig I just saw flying by the window?"

S- Sagacious. Leah was sitting by a small bond near the treaty line thinking of life when she felt someone approach from behind. "Did one of the Cullen freaks tell you to come and find me? Did they think I would take advice from you since I won't take it from them?"

Vladmir sat down next to her. 'No, I came here on my own. I recognize the pain you are in; it's the pain of losing someone you care about. You lost someone you cared about didn't you? Yes, you lost someone and when they died you also lost a part of yourself and now you're afraid you are never going to get it back again."

The Quilette she-wolf glanced over at him. "Are all you leech types so sagacious or is that reserved for Romanian bloodsuckers?"

"I'm just special I suppose." He told her with a smirk and much to his surprise she smirked right back.

T- Tantalizing. The first time Vladmir set eyes on Leah Clearwater he found her tantalizing. For a moment he wondered if she was a vampire because everything about her drew him in. The way she walked, her dark eyes filled with a lifetime of pain and secrets, her dark hair that reminded him of the rarest of silks, the way she spoke what was on her mind no matter what the situation, and most of all her smile you only saw once in a while, but when you did get a glimpse of it you would remember it forever. Yes, Leah Clearwater had one of the two remaining Romanian vampires caught in her web the moment he first saw her.

U- Urgency. Vladmir had been off on a hunt with the Cullen men since nobody could be sure when they would be able to do this again since Leah was due to give birth to their child any day now. When his phone went off he immediately answered knowing it had to do with Leah and when he heard Rosalie on the other line he knew without a doubt what she was about to say.

"Vladmir, you are never going to believe this, but Leah has just gone in to labour and it's progressing rather quickly so you should probably get back here as soon as possible if you don't want to miss the birth of your child." The urgency in her words had him running top speed through the forest as he headed home to his wife.

He could hear Leah in the background saying it was all his fault and he was never touching her again and he couldn't help it when he smiled. If she could badmouth him that meant she was perfectly fine for the time being. "Tell her I am on my way and that I love her as well."

"I never said that!" He heard her yell in the background right before he hung up. He had to get back to his wife because they were about to be parents.

V- Vacate. "I told you to get out!" Leah screamed, her face red with rage as she grabbed a book off of her dresser and chucked it at Vladmir as hard as she could. "Do you not know what vacate means? Well let me explain it to you. When I say leave it means I want you out of my room, out of my house, out of La Push, and of my life forever. I never want to see you again! How could you not tell me you had been married before when you were human? I am your fiancee and I think I had a right to know don't you? I found out from Bella, Bella! You have no idea what it was like finding out my mortal enemy knows more about you than I do. It's obvious you don't trust me and I cannot be with someone who cannot be truthful to me. I was already with one man who lied to me and I got my heart broken; I am not going to allow that to happen for a second time. I am going to say this one more time and if you're smart you will listen; get out! Get out now!"

W- Wading. The female shapeshifter had been wading in the water of First beach when she felt the one person she did not want to talk to come up behind her. "I thought I told you that I never wanted to see or talk to you ever again?"

The blond vampire sighed deeply even though he had no need for air. "You did say that yes, but I was not inclined to listen. I came here because I am determined to win you back and explain. The reason I didn't tell you about my wife was because I knew you would react this way. We were only married a few days before I was turned and it had been an arranged marriage so in my mind I never really considered it to be real. I love you Leah and I know I hurt you by not telling you everything and I am deeply sorry for that, but don't let my stupidity ruin what we have. I swear I will never keep anything from you again. So am I forgiven or am I going to have to come in that water and torture you in to agreeing with me? I hear being dipped in freezing ocean water clears ones mind."

X- Xenophobia. "Tell me something nobody else knows about you, even Stefan." Leah and Vladmir were laying in the grass with her head on his chest as they gazed up at the night sky.

"Something nobody knows about me huh?" He thought about it for a moment before coming up with a suitable answer. "When I was human I suffered from xenophobia which is the fear of strange places or foreign people."

Leah took a deep breath to stop herself from laughing. "If you want to keep your cool factor then I wouldn't go around telling everyone that if I were you."

Y- Yore. "Babe, I need your help with a history paper I have to write." Those were the first words out of the Quilette woman's mouth when she entered the apartment they shared together. "I am supposed to pick a place, any place I want and write about it's history. I figured why not Romania since I am dating someone who has lived there for over a thousand years. so what was Romania like back yore?"

Vladmir gave her a look full of amusement. "Did you honestly just use the word yore? Here I thought I was the old one in this relationship."

Z- Zealous. When baby Rome had turned a year old, his mother was determined to make his birthday the best and most memorable he would ever have. Usually she wasn't overly zealous about events such as this, but considering this was her son, it made it a little different. Everything had to be absolutely perfect and if it wasn't those who had made a mistake would pay and pay dearly. Emmett Cullen had already faced her fury twice; once for getting red balloons instead of blue and green and then again for hanging the apple shaped pinata one branch higher than she wanted it to be.

Vladmir knew he had to do something before she made someone cry because while it would indeed be funny, he knew she would regret her behavior later on. 'Leah, love, it's a party for toddlers and I highly doubt Rome will notice if the balloons are red instead of blue or green and someone is going to have to lift the children so they can hit the pinata so it doesn't really matter how high it is hung. What I want you to do is take a breath and go back to being my wife instead of this female version of Hitler."

The End!

**AN: Hey guys, here is the second half of the ABC guide and I hope you all enjoyed it. Thanks to everyone who read it and commented, followed, or put it on their favorites. I will start the next Christmas gift one-shot within the next couple of days.**

**Please R&R like always!**


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